Can you imagine, just lingering on the beach watching the tropical world go by slowly, when all of the sudden you’re washed away never to be found? It’s like a childhood nightmare that comes to life.

A friend of mine from work, Gary lost a house that he was building near his native home in India. All of his friends and family are safe and well. Another fellow co-worker based in LAX is being reported on CNN as missing. I don’t him personally.

My prayers are with those who have lost family and friends, and I pray that their misery will end soon…

It was nine years ago today that my father died. The nurses at the hospital told my mother that he would die before the end of Christmas day. He made it thru the day… then the night. Just as the sun was rising on December 26^th, 1995 he took his last labored breath and died. He wasn’t alone; my mother never left his side. I went to see him before they took him from the room. He had been gone for over an hour, but his body still clung on to the warmth of life. I took his hand and I wept. I wept not just because I was sad to have him gone, but also wept because I knew that he no longer suffered. His quality of death finally outweighed his quality of life.

It’s funny that you think that it is rude… First of all I didn’t even mention your name…and you recognized the person that I was writing about was you. What does that say? What about my first post did you see in yourself?

I some times feel like you crowd yourself with “stuff” and call it happiness, when in reality you’re miserable. You’re too afraid of moving on to do something that makes you happy because you are afraid that you will have to give up all your “stuff”. How many conversations have we had in which you tell me “if I just had that car, computer, etc… things would be better.”? Well now with all your “stuff” are you happy?

Remember that conversation that you and I had where I asked you reasons why you wanted to stay in the relationship you’re in now? How many reasons were about keeping your “stuff”? Didn’t I point that none of the reasons that you gave me were Kevin? That was months ago, where are you now?

You’re unhappy because you are far from home. You’re unhappy because you aren’t teaching yet and haven’t even really started getting your degree. You’re unhappy because you hate your job, but won’t give it up because “it’s good money” (which for an uneducated person it is). If you just detached yourself from all of your “stuff” and transcend it…YOU WILL FIND HAPPINESS!!!

On my post on the 7th I made reference to my shallow friends. Well on of them recognized themselves… So this friend called to inform me that they decided not get me a gift this Christmas and then proceeded to tell me about all the gifts that they bought for their friends. By the tone of the conversation and subsequent conversations since, I get the sense that this person is pissed. I don’t know if it because I called them shallow, or if I didn’t get them a gift… But when this person sends me an email and posts on their blog a Christmas list of things that they want without even asking me what I want….What am I supposed to think? I am a poor nursing student, with about $10.00 in checking account till January 10th. I have yet to buy my mother a gift, much less my niece and nephew. I have been working my butt off for the last week at a job (THAT I HATE), and wont get the paid for it till after I go back to school (January 10th). Oh and did I tell you that we were informed this week that we are getting a pay-cut (3%, but not as bad as I thought that it would be), less vacation pay, less holiday pay, our sick pay is cut by 30%, no more compay match on my 401K, and instead of being for responsible for 20% of my insurance premium, I will be responsible for 50% (from about $100.00 per month to about $250.00 per month).

I am sorry if I interpret their actions as shallow, but actions speak louder then words…

I am trying to get into the Christmas spirit. I am currently listening to Christmas music and have been baking cookies. It helps that it has been a bit cooler (in the 60’s). Today it’s raining, which is fine because that means a cold front is coming and that means cold weather for Christmas…

He will be here soon…. Do you believe?

I’m thinking of boycotting Christmas. First of all I live in Florida, and I believe it was about 80°F today. That makes it hard to get in the holiday spirit. I have no money…That’s right, none…NADA! That makes it hard to buy gifts. I feel uncomfortable getting gifts, when I can’t afford to buy one in return. That makes it hard to receive gifts.

When did Christmas become such a buying spree? Jesus was said to receive gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Now we give gifts of Halo 2, plasma TVs, DVD players, digital cameras, and IPod’s. And we stress out and max out credit cards to get them. Why?

When I was nine years old all I wanted for Christmas was a Cabbage Patch doll. They were extremely popular at the time. They were the toy of the season. Every night on the TV news, they would show parents pushing and shoving their way into a store that just received a fresh stock from the retail stork.

I wanted one SOOO badly…

I think back then The Cabbage Patch Dolls retailed over $100.00 (now you can get one for $16.99 at Walmart). My parents never seemed to have any money, but I thought that if I wished hard enough they would relent and buy one. I think I put them through a lot of stress.

Well my grandmother was at the flee market a few weeks before Christmas. They had “Cabbage Patch like” dolls. The heads on the doll were slightly larger and rounder then the real thing, and it didn’t have the signature on the bum. However they were close, and only $60.00. She bought one.

I was delighted!!!

We open our gifts on Christmas Eve night (that’s Swedish tradition). Later that night I slept with that doll in my arms and never let go. The next day I proudly took Allison (that’s what I named her); wrapped up in a blanket and wearing her Sunday best to Christmas mass. When I went to communion, Father Gordon kindly blessed her.

I was a proud Momma!

I still have her. She’s naked because I lost her clothes. She’s discolored and stained. My sister Holly drew breasts on her because she thought that they were lacking them. Oh and my brother gave her a few swirlies.

That is the last time that I remember being so shallow about my Christmas gifts. I was nine then, I’ve grown up. But some of my friends are still shallow, and that’s frustrating.

That’s why I think that I am boycotting Christmas. It’s way too stressful. Besides Sally Mae doesn’t come through with my student loan till February.

Did I ever tell you what I think of Valentines Day….?